And I Ain't Seen Sunshine Since I Don't Know When
by HMS Jones
Summary: AU, Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry
1. Chapter 1

Title: And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When.

Author: Chipmunki

Rating: T

Summary: Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry

Warnings: nothing much. Slash, maybe spoilers to those watching the show in Britain or after it's aired in America, but you've probably heard it all before.

Harry sighed as he waited outside Dalton. He had been here for over ten minutes, waiting for his boyfriend to finish his rehearsal. Jeff had said he would be finished at four thirty and Harry had actually arrived ten minutes late because of the traffic. It was now coming up to four fifty five and they had reservations for half past six. If Jeff was any later they might not be able to make it there on time.

Harry checked his phone again. The wide black blackberry was the only phone he could get that did not stop working completely after he had had it for a month or two. He was certain that there was some sort or wizard or squib influence on its design. The screen flickered slightly when Harry caught sight of the time. His emotions still affected his control over his magic.

It was four fifty seven. It had taken him around forty minutes to drive to Dalton and the traffic had only gotten worse since then. Usually he would not be bothered by turning up late. Harry had never been the most punctual of people. But this was the fourth date that had had to be set back or completely missed because of Jeff. It was either the Warblers or Jeff had school work or that one time that Jeff had made them duck out of a restaurant because one of the boys from his school came in and Jeff did not want them to spread his gay date around before Jeff had a chance to tell anyone.

He still had not told anyone and they were four months down the line.

Jeff had said he loved him. There had been affection in his eyes when they had held hands or kissed or watched a film. Harry had laughed at Jeff's love for fantasy films whilst Jeff had called him adorable because of his affection for Gandalf. They had been happy and together and unashamed.

Jeff had said he loved him. And Harry had said he loved him back.

But it was getting harder and harder to believe each time Harry was put second to something else in his life.

When it came up to five twenty three and Jeff still had not arrived Harry crushed the hope inside of his chest and climbed back into his car. Jeff was not going to come running out of the school at any moment to tell Harry he was sorry, nor would he be able to turn back time. Jeff was a muggle and even then the use of time turners was strictly prohibited so there was nothing to be done.

Eyes set fiercely on the road he refused to look at the blackberry sitting on the seat next to his. It was not buzzing or ringing but the possibility it could made Harry stubbornly turn away from his beloved phone.

He would break up with Jeff tomorrow. He was tired of being an afterthought in the blonde's mind. He was tired of being second or third or even fourth best. But most of all he was tired of the lies and the secrecy.

He was nobody's dirty little secret. He was never going to be ashamed of who he was.

* * *

_okay, so i have no idea where this came from. i set out to write some Jeff/Harry fluff. because when i love a character i ship them with Harry. And i love Jeff. his hair is awesome. so i don't have a clue what is happening here. _

_but reviews are love love love, love love love, love love love. there's nothing you can do that shouldn't be done nothing you can sing that can't be sung. nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. it's reviewing! :)_

_beatles 3_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When

Author: Chipmunki

Rating: T

Summary: Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry

Warnings: Homophobia, SLASH, slight spoilers to things you probably know.

Jeff stared at the clock. He had meant to be out of Dalton twenty minutes ago but the council had been arguing over Blaine's controversial clothing choices for sectionals for the last hour and they were still going strong. He wanted to leave, he wanted to ask the council to be excused but they would want to know why. He could not tell them why.

He wanted too.

But if he did... it might get back to his father.

Jeff gripped the couch material beneath his hands. He could feel Nick looking at him with concern, the dark brown of his best friend's eyes as they watched his intent gaze at the clock, his tense frame, his grasp on his seat. Nick was his best friend, but he was a gossiper. Jeff had not even told him.

He silently urged Thad to _shut the hell up_ as he imagined Harry waiting for him outside the gates, waiting for him then giving up and going home and going out with that hot guy from the music store who kept on staring at Harry whenever they went in. They would hug and kiss and hold hands!

Jesus! Jeff should be the one holding hands with Harry! Right now!

But his dad was the type who looked disgusted when something about prop 8 came on the TV. He had hit Jeff's sister when he found out she had become friends with a lesbian and demanded she never talk to her again. He had refused both Jeff and his siblings contact with their mother when he found out her sister was a lesbian and she divorced him when he wanted to cut off contact.

His dad, in short, was a dick.

But his mom was dirt poor and his dad was a CEO of a large company. Jeff had no way to get in contact with her and he had no desire to end up on the streets or covered with bruises. So he lied and he hid and he hoped Harry would understand and be patient.

Thad finally ended his tirade with one of his truly inspired suck-up-to-Blaine-brown-nosing comments and Blaine left the meeting with his pockets one solo heavier, but with his costume ideas denied. Wes ended the meeting with a bang of his gavel that was like the gun shot at the beginning of a horse race. Jeff sped out of the meeting, living the other Warblers behind, Nick included.

He sprinted to the gates, only bothering to pull off his blazer and tie and chuck them into his room. His white shirt and black slacks would have to do, Harry had been waiting for over an hour and a half, but he would still be there. He had to be. He always was. No matter if Jeff cancelled or made them sneak out of the cinema because some of his friends came in or refused to hold hands in public in case somebody saw Harry was always there.

He made it there in a few minutes and craned his head to try and find Harry's red car. But he could not see the Spitfire anywhere. Jeff felt chills race up his spine, a cloud of disappointment swirl around him, yet a sense of a precognition coming true.

Harry was not here...

Harry was gone.

* * *

_second chapter. these things come out so quickly when i don't try to make thehapters massive. i'm going to do them all kinda short, because it gives me a break from the 2000-4000 or over words that are my other stories. hopefully you'll all still enjoy the story as much._

_these ones can be shorter because it's purely just between Harry and Jeff at the moment. once the rest of the problems and the other character come in they may be longer. :) who knows! :)_

_my lonliness is killing me, i can confess, i still believe (still believe) without i lose my mind, give me a sigh, review me baby one more time! :)_

_(becuase i don't want anyone to hit me, but reviews are welcome with open arms!)_


	3. Chapter 3

Title: And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When.

Author: Chipmunki

Rating: T

Summary: Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry

Harry's phone had not stopped ringing since he reached his house after leaving Dalton and Jeff. He sat on his sofa, the T.V on mute, lights half on, watching it ring. The screen illuminated the name over and over. Jeff :). Then blank. Jeff :). Then blank again.

In between calls Harry received texts. He ignored each one. He was not angry so much anymore. Just resigned. He had loved Jeff. He still did. He wanted to be with him. But when Jeff would not hold hands with him in public and would not even tell him why. Would not explain a thing. Would not even talk about it. It made Harry not want to answer his phone.

54 unread texts.

39 missed calls.

Harry almost regretted his decision to break up with Jeff, but he was a Gryffindor and he had his Gryffindor pride. He was not going to be a dirty secret.

But...

With an uncertain hand he reached over to his blackberry. Opening up the texts with shaky fingers he read what Jeff wanted to tell him.

_Harry, I'm sorry._

_Please, Harry._

_I want to talk to you._

_I'M SORRY._

_PLEASE, Harry._

_I'm sorry._

_I love you, please pick up._

_Please, please, Harry. Please._

_I love you, I love you so much, please pick up, I can explain._

_Please._

_PLEASE, I LOVE YOU!_

Harry stopped reading. He put the phone down. Merlin, he loved Jeff. He wanted him. He wanted to forgive him. He wanted to have him back. He said he would explain. Maybe he would. Maybe they would be okay.

Harry picked up his phone, looking through another couple of texts he smiled. Every time Jeff said he loved him he got a warm feeling in his chest. He didn't want to give that up. He picked up his phone, worried, and called Jeff. The dial tone rang in his ear but only for a few seconds before Jeff picked up.

"Harry?"

oOo

Nick was worried. He looked over to his roommate and best friend. Jeff was curled up in his bed, dialling the same number over and over again, occasionally, he started texting, but mostly he just called. He let the phone ring for a few minutes then stopped and redialled.

Nick had not seen Jeff like that since he went out with that girl. Jeff had not even liked the girl, his dad had set them up but still he curled up on his bed and called and called after they broke up. But as far as Nick knew Jeff had not been going out with anyone.

He sat, pretending to do his Biology Homework, but really watching Jeff call his mysterious girlfriend until he jerked up, face a mix of devastated and ecstatic and said

"Harry?"

oOo

"I'll talk to you, but you only get one chance okay, Jeff? Tomorrow. At the park. Four."

Jeff agreed and Harry hung up, hoping to God Jeff could explain and make everything better.

* * *

_This story is so easy to write because of the charpters length! :) i like how easy it is to write. _

_haha, i blame you guy still for the lack of coursework i've gotten done. this sucks. my teachers are gunna hate because of you guys - and glee, but i cant blame glee because of Klaine Klisses. ;D_


	4. Chapter 4

Title: And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When

Author: Chipmunki

Rating: T

Summary: Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry

Warnings: Slash.

oOo

Harry was waiting for him by the tree they had their first kiss under. It had been at around ten o'clock at night, on a Tuesday. Harry had shivered beneath his lips and hands. It had been awesome. The best kiss he ever had, and Jeff guessed it was not just because it was his only kiss with a guy. It was Harry.

It was always Harry. He reached out to touch his hand, fell the warm skin beneath his finger, but all he got was cold air. Harry had jerked away from him. Jeff looked at Harry's face. He could see the turmoil there, the tangle of emotions in his eyes. The pain and the hurt and the wariness that kept his from touching Jeff the way they both wanted him to.

"I'm sorry."

The words hung there. They were suspended in the cold autumn air, waiting for Harry to reach out and take them. They go ignored.

"Do you have an explanation?" Harry asked instead. He asked as if he already knows that Jeff will not give him one.

"If you just give me..." Jeff trailed off.

"Time?" asked Harry. He looked Jeff in the eyes. Jeff wanted to take off Harry's glasses and kiss him, but his green eyes pin him into place. "I've given you time." He hisses, "I've given you everything!"

"I know!" Jeff pleads, "Just a little longer! Please, Harry!"

Harry turned away from him, he did not want Jeff to see the weakness in his eyes, how close he was to giving in. Because he missed Jeff. He wanted to give in. He wanted the happy times with Jeff teaching him how to dance and the trips to IHOP which ended with sticky hands and sticky kisses. He wanted the warm feeling of being loved by someone and loving that someone just as much. But he did not feel loved when he was waiting on his own for Jeff to lie to his friends and come to meet him.

"Do you know" he whispered harshly, he wanted to stop because he could hear the tears in his voice, "how upset I was when you didn't show up?"

Jeff reached forward. His hand hovered, like his apology, inches from Harry. He wanted so badly to touch him. To ground himself in his boyfriend so he does not float off with the thought that Harry is about to break up with him.

"I love you, Jeff. But I won't be treated like a dirty secret." Harry said.

"I love you too." Jeff said frantically, and he tried desperately to think of words, "I won't... you won't... I just need a little longer, so I can figure this out."

His hand moved that extra inch, and lay on Harry's shoulder. Harry crumbled.

"A month." He said, "One month."

Jeff nodded. He was holding Harry now. Arms round his waist, head buried in his dark hair, grasping at the pale hands clutching his. It was like he had just almost fallen off of a cliff, or off of the station on to the tracks and Harry had saved him just in time. They embraced like a life had just been saved.

"I don't know if I can be in this relationship any longer."

And suddenly, he is falling again.

* * *

_this was shockingly hard to write. not because of the content or the words or anything. i just kept on switiching into present tense and had to go back and correct it all. :( _

_but i kind of like it. :)_

_Percusion, strings, wind, words. _

_there you see it, sitting there across the screen_

_you don't got a lot to say, but there's something about it _

_and you don't know why but you're dying to try,_

_ you wanna review the fic. _


	5. Chapter 5

Title: And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When

Author: Chipmunki

Rating: T

Summary: Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry AU Non-magic

Warnings: Homophobia, SLASH, slight spoilers to things you probably know. AU Non-magic

oOo

Harry sighed. His house never felt empty before. He was the only inhabitant of the small two bedroom house since he moved to America to avoid the media after the death of Sirius, his guardian and godfather. He had sued for emancipation and moved into this house, living off of the massive income provided by inheriting Sirius's investments, riches and houses and being the silent head of the Potter Corporation. But he had never been lonely before. But when it was compared to the loud laughter and happy chatter of Jeff it never seemed as much like home.

He curled up onto his side on his bed. It had bright red sheets – the weird lady at the shop had told him sheets that colour would give him nightmares, he tried not to spit back that he had them anyway. The sheets reminded him of home. He curled his hand around his blackberry, his thumb hovering over the call button, the screen lit up with Jeff's grinning face and his name Jeff :). He tried to work up the courage to press that button and call or put his phone down and stop thinking about it, but he could not. He lay there instead, teetering between calling Jeff or not, full of indecision.

He startled as his phone began to vibrate and chime in his hand. The screen was lit up with the name Jeff :), and a photo of his grinning, blond boyfriend. He hurried to answer, trying to force down his grin at the sound of Jeff's voice. He could not help the massive rush of joy he felt whenever he heard Jeff's voice or anything to do with him. He tried to stay mad at him and tried to keep that sense of betrayal from fading but it was getting harder and harder.

"Heya," Jeff said, Harry revelled in the love sick note in his voice. He knew he sounded just as dopey when he replied.

"Hi," he said, rolling onto his bed.

"Where are you?" Jeff asked, voice cheeky.

"At home, all alone." Harry replied, "In my bedroom."

There was an intake of breath through the phone as Jeff took that in, then a low chuckle shivered its way through the blackberry's speaker and down Harry's spine.

"What are you wearing?" Jeff breathed, and Harry knew he was trying to get back at him, but Harry knew Jeff. He smirked at his picture of Jeff in his mind, with his hazel eyes wide, his mouth quirked into his crooked, white toothed grin. Perhaps shirtless.

Harry grinned at his answer, knowing it would bring a bright red blush to Jeff's cheeks.

"Nothing." He said.

Harry heard Jeff's breathing jerk. They had not made it past that all important relationship milestone yet but he knew Jeff had been thinking about it. He was a teenage boy, of course he had been thinking about it. Harry had been thinking about it. Harry had been thinking about it a lot!

If it was not for the fact that Jeff would not tell anyone about him or kiss him in front of his friends or even hold his hands in public he would have considered making that final step with him. But Jeff did do all those things and, even if he was a guy and apparently it meant that he should not care about those things, he did not want to have sex with Jeff if he could not completely trust him.

Suddenly he heard a noise down the line and a voice asking Jeff who he was talking too. Harry listened intently.

"Er..." Jeff said, and Harry's heart sank, "It's just Harry. My friend."

Harry jerked the blackberry away from his ear, scowling and furiously hung up on him. He did not think Jeff would ever change.

oOo

In Jeff and Nick's shared room Jeff glared at his best friend. Harry had hung up but he could not blame him.

He took a deep breath and steeled himself. Harry was worth any repercussion he got for doing this.

Letting his breath out into the hush of the room he stared into Nick's brown eyes. Nick had been silent. He must have sensed the tension in the room.

"That wasn't my friend. I lied. That was my boyfriend. His name is Harry and I love him more than anything in the world."

Nick stared at him with wide eyes and Jeff tensed. But Nick relaxed and simply said, "Well, I guess we better do something about our dad, huh, Jeff?"


	6. Chapter 6

Title: And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When

Author: Chipmunki

Rating: T

Summary: Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry

Warnings: Homophobia, SLASH, slight spoilers to things you probably know.

Nick sighed, "Well we have to do something,"

Jeff jerked around from where he was staring at the pictures on their walls. He had lately put up one of the tamer ones of him and Harry, they could just be taken as a pair of friends in that one, but it was nice to get to see his face every day, especially with their rocky relationship right now.

"Don't you think I know that, Nick?!" he shouted, then forced himself quiet, "I just can't think of anything!"

"You could tell your dad."

"No," said Jeff reflexively, "No, you know why I can't do that!"

"Jeff," Nick said soothingly, like he was talking to an injured animal. That as well as the suggestion made Jeff annoyed. Why was Nick telling him to do the one thing he couldn't do? Didn't he know that his dad would kill him if he found out?

"No." he said, quietly, stern and unmoving.

Nick sighed, "Yeah, okay, I know your dad isn't the most liberal guy."

"My dad's a douchebag."

"Yeah, we'll try something else." Nick paused, "What about your mom?"

Jeff stopped.

His mom.

He hadn't spoken to his mom in years, and sure, that was because his dad wouldn't let them but he hadn't heard a single rumour suggesting that she wanted him or his siblings after that. There had been some ripples at the beginning, even a tidal wave or two, but that had died a few years ago, now there was nothing. He didn't even know if she wanted him anymore.

He was curious as fuck about it but terrified, what if she didn't want him? What if she thought he was a dirty as his dad did?

"We could hire a private detective," Nick said, "I'll pay for it and everything so your dad doesn't find out."

oOo

Harry was sitting on the sofa, the TV playing lightly on the background and a plate of untouched food in front of him when the door rang. His head jerked up. There were only a few friends that would use the door if the wanted to come visit. All of his wizarding friends would call by floo or apparition. It could have been one of the muggle friends he had made at his work or when he was out but his gut told him it wasn't. It was Jeff.

His gut was vindicated when he opened the door and Jeff was standing there. For a second, harry envisioned closing the door and leaving him, so that Jeff would be the one left waiting, unsatisfied, unwanted, but instead he gestured Jeff in, turning his head so his kiss landed on his cheek, not his mouth. There was a sigh against his cheek that cooled the wet left over from his mouth.

"Are you here for any reason?" harry asked, as he walked back towards the living room.

Jeff followed, not speaking until he was sitting down on the sofa. It was the seat Harry knew he favoured, they had curled up there often, Harry leaning against the gentle warmth of his side, or Jeff with his head on his lap, blonde hair used enough to reveal his darker roots. Harry picked up his food, it was getting cold but it gave him something to distract himself with.

The bolognaise sauce was heavy on his tongue as the silence continued. Jeff finally looked up from his lap.

"I'm going to find my mom," Jeff said.

Harry's eyes flicked up to Jeff without his consent. His mind flashes instantly to the wand, holly and phoenix feather, bright and still so warm to the touch, which he had stored in a box, nestled in velvet and locked tight.

oOo

It isn't often Harry goes near the box. It was beautiful; he didn't want to store his precious wand anywhere else. He had learnt since fourth year how to take care of it. There are carvings on the surface of the lid, snitches and a lion, roaring and rampant, stars and sparks, shining with the varnish. The lock, spelled heavily and free of rust only because of that, opens easily to the key he had hidden.

He can feel the wand as soon as he opens it. He hadn't trusted himself with it. If he was going to live in the muggle world he wanted to be as muggle as he could be along with it. He hadn't realised just how much he had missed it until he had it in his hand again. Warm thrills shot through him. It was harder than he would have thought it to be to put it down again, even then he cast a spell just to feel what it was like again before he could. But know he held the wand, he was sure, he could help Jeff find his mum.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: And I Ain't Seen The Sunshine Since I Don't Know When

Author: Chipmunki

Rating: T

Summary: Harry is tired. He still loves Jeff and Jeff still loves him. But sometimes relationships just do not work out. Sometimes one of them does not work hard enough to make it and the other has to let go. Jeff/Harry

Warnings: Homophobia, SLASH, slight spoilers to things you probably know.

oOo

There was no way he could tell Jeff what he was doing, but once he had his wand again he had access to a million spells he could try to find Jeff's mum, and if none of those worked he could ask Hermione. There was no chance he didn't know something about search spells.

With his wand in his hand again he could recognise and accept just how much he missed the world he had come to love. The wackiness of it, the absurdity, even the danger. There was a bond that was created in the Wizarding World because of the danger that he hadn't been able to replicate with any muggle, he had thought he had that with Jeff for a while, but even that relationship proved less than what he had hoped. Of course, he would never have wanted Jeff to have a bloody psycho for a dad to bring them together!

Harry lifted his wand and pointed it, hand steady, at a plant he had on the table. It was with Ron in mind that he whispered "Wingardium Leviosa!", and watched, grinning, as the plant rose steadily in the air. It wasn't the club of a fully grown mountain troll, but it would do. Even though he wanted a break from the Wizarding World, he and Ron were still in as much touch as they used to be, he had, like Harry, not gone back for Sixth year in Hogwarts, working part time in his brother's shop and applying for Auror training. Harry knew he had a ring hidden between two of his knitted Weasley jumpers. It was very early but Harry had never seen Ron so certain about anything they're entire friendship. He was sure, and Harry was sure, that they would be together forever. The jumpers were one of the few places Hermione wouldn't investigate, as busy as she was finishing her Sixth year at Hogwarts and back every holiday and occasional Hogsmede visit where she could sneak away. It wasn't that Harry was smug over Hermione's rule breaking, but he was proud (and alittle smug) that she had loosened up and could bend the rules without having to be forced or pressured into it by Him or Ron. They were happy.

He had talked to Hermione a lot as well, she had been the one who had helped him find this house and set everything up so he could be comfortable and settled in muggle America. She had been confused over his wish to leave the Magical World, he knew that she was still a little enamoured with the wonder of the Hogwarts and Wizards and Witches in general, although she had seen the dark side of it and the flighty, illogical vein that ran through the entire world, but she also respected it. He needed to be somewhere he could be happy, although maybe he was wrong about it being here.

Either way, he had a chance to help someone he cared for, even if it wasn't shaping up to be as much of a long term relationship as he had hoped. The wood of his wand felt smooth in his palm and he clenched his fist around it once more.

oOo

Nick stared at the pictures on his and Jeff's shared walls. The boy that Jeff said was his boyfriend was a familiar fixture on them now, although Nick couldn't help but look at him in a completely different light now. His hair was a complete mess, but was it natural or because Jeff had been running his hair through it? Were his round glasses prescription or pretentions?

He had so many questions to ask. Jeff had become such a big part of his life – as a best friend and self-professed brother it was his duty to find out whether Harry was good enough for his best friends. Of course he had to make sure that Jeff was free to actually date him first.

There was so much to consider on that front. Jeff's mom had come from a poor background, she had been a lower class waitress who caught the eye of Jeff's dad, a domineering but charming man who had swept her off her feet. Their marriage had been tumultuous, as much as Jeff had told him, and she had disappeared after their divorce, whether by choice or by force Jeff didn't know. His father had been borderline abusive, never for what he thought was no reason but as a rich, white, male Republican, there was a lot he thought was acceptable and right that honestly wasn't. There were issues trying to find his mother and there were a million issues with what could happen after they did. Dalton cost a lot of money, which she may not have had. It wasn't the biggest of concerns but it was his home at this point and Nick didn't want to force Jeff into a world that wasn't much better than the one his dad ruled over. Dalton was such a safe space for everyone. Nick had considered pleading his mom and dad for Jeff to stay with them which they wouldn't mind but still there were problems with the financial side. He could never ask them to pay for Jeff's schooling.

He hadn't managed to get in touch with his own mom in between classes, having been passed from assistant to assistant to receptionist to junior assistant, before being told to call back at six. It was five to six at the moment and he had written out a list of points he had to go over. His mom had built up her own company from the ground, and she loved a well thought out proposal.

His finger slid down to the last point, the ink still wet enough to smear; _Call Jonathon Bones, Private Detective! _ With the number in careful, boxy print beside them. If he got the money from his mom he would call them. A private investigator! That was something he was excited about!


End file.
